The morning is brisk, my toes already cold. I am cursing the lack of walking socks that I should have stuffed into my heels. A flash of orange, and there he is. Friends we are not. Perhaps just two souls that meet. A secret between the fox and I, this assembly of ours. An assembly of spirit, who we are and what we represent. There has been many a shared meeting between us in these Winter months. We have sat with one another in the early morning with the moon still shining bright, on an occasional starry evening. A strange pair.
He is not much older than a cub, but certainly not the age of the more elderly foxes that appear to have wintered years of storms. Coat still luxuriant, well preened and kept. A burnt orange Crayola, black tipped ears, on high alert, a vibration of excitement and life. An occasional lolling tongue, deep chestnut eyes. Unlike others, he waits and watches, every movement an interest, the gardens and trees his playground. The familiarity that he wanders the low bearing walls with confidence suggests he knows who he is. Like a young confident tod. Every second of life excites him. A new soul born, where the nights are just as interesting as the days.
We sit here on opposite walls, looking at one another, a faint smile on his lips, no malice as he watches me through curious eyes. We breathe in the stars and the light of the moon, and sit as if the rest of the world around us has faded.
This fox is my sign. Of what I am not sure. Foxes are ever present in folklore and literature. In C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, CS Lewis represents the fox as a staunch believer of magic and a true holder of the faith. Even when challenged at the moment of death, the fox will not renounce his belief. Conviction, no matter how bleak times may seem. In the Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, the fox also represents a purely selfless creature. A soul seeping with goodness and valour. His only real wish is friendship, and a friendship in which he himself is tamed, loved, while teaching the enchantments that ritual and ceremony bring. Perhaps symbolising the wish we all have for intimacy and understanding, while also wrestling with the notion that deep relationships challenge us, break us in in someway, leaving us not how they found us.
Japanese Folklore represents the fox as both a shapeshifter and a messenger from the deity. The good and the bad. The depictions in the National Gallery of Art, indicate that the fox transforms into a beautiful woman, living and loving humans until their identity is revealed. For some this is seen as a huge deceit, a malice. But I wonder whether this shadow side of the fox is merely the representation that Antoine De Saint was emphasising. Connection is sought, but the relationships are filled with challenge, and shadow, light and dark. Nothing perfect. This continual movement of ourselves, that bring us a step closer to understanding who we are and what we are here for. This beautiful poem indicates such a connection, sharing the emotion as the woman transforms back into the fox, never able to go back. Intimating to ourselves how we ebb and flow, and change as we move through relationships and our timeline. And when the shapes shift, it is time to move on.
If you love me, darling, come and see me
You will find me yonder in the great wood
Of Shinoda of Izumi Province where the leaves
Of arrowroots always rustle in pensive mood
(Nozaki, Kitsune: Japan’s Fox of Mystery, Romance,
and Humor [Tokyo, 1961], 110–111)
I am still no closer to knowing what my fox means. But in those blissful minutes we share, it seems as if the whole world is still, with every minute imbued with a sense of magic, a sense of soul. I feel as if I am being reminded by the heavens that life is life. And all we can do is trust. That indeed he is a message from the deity, as all life is. A message of connection to something greater, a nod to the work, a reminder of the faith. For however long it lasts I will enjoy these remaining winter moments with him. Transient beauty in its full form.
What a beautiful moment to capture and write about. Thank you for sharing. I will certainly be looking for more of the magic when I cross paths with a fox. ❤️
Thank you so much Jo ❤️